Your relationship type is...
Love Hard – Fight Hard
These couples tend to be VERY passionate in general – where both fights and intimacy tends to be INTENSE. Partners in this type of couple MUST be able to identify & communicate their emotional experiences clearly & in a way their Partner can hear. If both Partners are able to practice these communication skills, they can keep themselves out of “Red Zone Anger” - where People tend to “fight dirty.” This type of Couple MUST learn to have conflict fairly & productively so the tendency to "figh t dirty" can be avoided because it destroys trust & safety in the relationship.
These couples tend to get stuck in the “Storming Phase” of relationship development because they rely on fighting for emotional intimacy, rather than learning how to access vulnerable & honest feelings before they turn into anger. To grow past this barrier, Partners must learn to communicate vulnerable thoughts and feelings at a lower intensity, as well as learn conflict resolution skills to decrease tension when needed. The more each Partner learns to regulate themselves & communicate those needs directly to their Partner, the easier it is to turn that tension from conflict into opportunities for growth & intimacy - but in a way that ALSO increases trust & mutual respect at the same time.
Want to dive deeper? Talk to someone? New Leaf is here to listen:
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